Here's to the freakn weekend...I'll drink to that!

We've had a busy weekend consisting of far too much alcohol (I swear I'm never drinking again! At least until next weekend), lots of dancing, great food and of course, the best part - making friends with other drunkards!

I'm just going to post a whole bunch of pictures because I'm too hungover to type anything literate.

Friday night - we were off to check out Volare in Colaba and the cheapest and quickest way is by train
Here's Josiah hanging out the train just like the locals do
It's also a common way they die.

We caught the express train which meant we arrived VERY early (like before the restaurant was even officially open!) but they let us in.
I didn't waste any time getting stuck into their drinks list! Free drinks for the ladies..I'll say cheers to that!

Joe's fake beer (it's for men who like cocktails but don't want anyone else to know)

My first drink of the night. I have no idea what it was.

Dinner round 1 - chicken caesar salad

The grossest chocolate shake ever!! Glad I didn't have to pay for it!

Peri Peri Chicken with Garlic Mayonnaise - delicious! 
Had to fight Josiah for the last piece. 
He may have lost an eye in the struggle

Next round - a cosmo for me and a LIIT for Josiah

Judging by the look on my face, I think you can see they were definitely not mocktails

The music during dinner was so random!!
They played country, rap, top 40 plus some good old John Denver!

Our last dish - sicillian garlic chicken. It was SO tasty!

Drink number ... I don't know anymore...

Josiah's Strawberry Thing - Devine!!

We settled the bill and were thinking of leaving. We got as far as the bar...

and I decided that I should have one last cosmo for the road. 

So we never made it out the door.
One cosmo became 2, then 3
then they just kept coming!

I can't remember their names or how we even met them.
But they were drunk and so were we!

This guy beat me for the 'drunkest person in the club' award

These guys rocked!
By the end of the night, I'd just walk up to the bar and without having to ask, they'd start making me a cosmo.

Saturday was spent recovering which pretty much means lying in bed trying to forget all those embarrassing things you did the night before. Did I really break a cocktail glass while trying to climb onto the bar? Wasn't that just a horrible horrible dream? No?! Ugh. 


Anyway, by Saturday afternoon we were feeling much better and we decided we needed a new camera lens for our upcoming Christmas Holidays in Sikkim (so excited for it!!). We caught a train to CST station and found a legit Canon store with the exact lens we wanted for about 30% less than the price in Australia. Lets just hope it doesn't fall to bits within the first week!

the beautiful CST station

Next we caught a taxi to Marine Drive, the place where I get to act as a creepy tourist and take pictures of couples trying to have a romantic moment together. 

Marine Drive - Mumbai's place for romance

Indians don't really approve of PDA, but you wouldn't know it if you went to this place.
Some of the groping I saw reminded me of  "3am in the back of the taxi" sort of thing!

Back at home we got ready for our night at the Red Ant. One of the guys we met at Volare (the one with the glasses) had a friend who was DJing at the Red Ant and invited us along. We were only planning to stay a little while, but you know how it goes...you're having fun, you've got a drink in your hand and life is good. Before you know it you're drunk and dancing like a slut again! Just as I was perfecting my sprinkler dance move, it struck 1am, the lights came on, the music stopped and the nice waitstaff turned into crazed piranhas snapping at anyone who wasn't making their way out the door. I miss the days of dancing until dawn! 


I'll finish with a great recipe Josiah and I thought up. It's pretty lengthy, so try to keep up...
1) get strawberries, cream, vodka and ice
2) mix in a blender until smooth
3) say cheers, drink and wait for effects!

Cream - a strawberry's best friend!

Delicious!

A day in the life of Josiah

So instead of writing about what a typical day is like for me, I thought why not take a craptonne of pictures instead?! After all, they say a picture is worth a thousand words!

Up at 6:30am! I start the day with a cup of strong coffee in my favourite mug which I never wash, as you can see. 
I like to do my part for conserving water

Essential working equipment - biscuits, coffee and a computer!

With all the construction work going on outside I'm not sure how she stays asleep!
Maybe she pretends to be sleeping whenever I walk in so she doesn't have to get up...

Just hanging up the washing, you know, in our hallway. 

Jen's off to go exploring on her own...
hmm must be coffee time again yes?

Yes!!
then more work ...... zzzzz....

Lunch Time!! Only $4 for the BEST woodfire pizza...With free garlic bread and drink....Delivered.
Beat that Dominos Australia! 

Jen's back! A coffee for her and Me

Finished work for the day! Time to go out and explore the markets!
This is a picture of our street.
 Inspite of all the traffic you can see, it's actually considered a quiet suburban road!

A hit and run! This guy was pushing his vegetable cart along our road and got clipped by another vehicle. I helped by holding onto the cart so it didn't roll away down the street while he grabbed his vegetables off the dirty ground.
I hope whoever buys the spinach gives it a good wash before eating them!

Hold on tight, it's dodgem rickshaws 

3 near misses later (no exaggeration there) and we finally make it to our destination.
Only 11 Rupees (20 cents)!

The markets are always so colourful! 

This game is what I like to call - where's Jen?
Or as Jen likes to call it - 'how much stuff can you fit into a shop?!'

A vegetarian Zombie's feast - graaaaains

Pasta, anyone?

Getting lost in the markets...

a CHICKOO!

Jen's comment: it's like a rainbow in a shop :D

Walking down to Carter Road, we pass one of the slums of Mumbai...

Before heading home we stopped in at my favourite yoghurt store for some Berry Frozen Yoghurt - my current obsession!

Another crazy ride back

Back home! This is our security guard. He likes to talk to us in Hindi, but since  we can't really understand him, we just nod and smile and say Thank You. He probably thinks we're idiots.

It's 9pm - the perfect time for making strawberry walnut cheesecake!

Jen volunteered to do the washing up!

How do you finish off a great night? By chilling out with some ZOMBIES!

So many things to see and do, so little time!

I love making lists. My favourites being wish lists and shopping lists of course! I also enjoy making to-do lists. I love the feeling of being able to cross something off my list so much that sometimes I even write stuff that I've already done just so I can cross it off. But this list is stuff I haven't done yet, but want to do sometime while I'm living here in India.

10. Walk along Marine Drive

Why? Apparently it's "Ideal for a romantic or reconnaissance stroll...". It's a 3km stretch around a natural bay. To be honest, I'm expecting it to be like the rest of India - crowded and dirty. Bonus points if I even get to see the damn water.

9. Check out Colaba

Why? It's one of the richer suburbs of Mumbai near the beach. From what I've read it's got some nice restaurants and "lots of nice sh*t to look at" and you know me, I love looking at nice sh*t. 

8. Chor Bazaar & Crawford Market

Why? "Chor Bazaar" literally translates to "Thieves Market" so as you can guess, it's the best place to buy 2nd hand goods (that may or may not have previously belonged to your neighbour!).

7. See a Bollywood movie at the local cinema.

Why? I've heard that when Indians go to see a film, they get really into it. It's not uncommon for them to throw things at the screen or scream at the actors if they don't like what's happened or if the acting is horrid. Mind you, I wanted to do that while watching Friends with Benefits. Justin Timberlake's performance made me want to gouge out my eyes. I wouldn't have bothered going to see it except I got free tickets. And we all know how much I love free shit. 

Back to the Indians...as I said, they aren't shy in demonstrating their emotions. They will unashamedly and loudly cry or laugh during a movie. And that's a huge benefit to me since I'm still learning Hindi & I'm going to need all the help I can get to work out what the heck is happening.

6. Check out 'Aer' and ' Dome'

Why? They are both roof top lounge bars that look absolutely wicked!! Check out the google images for them (type Aer Mumbai or Dome Mumbai), & you'll see why I want HAVE to go! 

5. Go to Olives on a Thursday night. 

Why? Olives is a well known, up-market restaurant & bar that turns into a club on Thursday nights (they move all the chairs away to make room for a dance floor). I've read so much about it, it's time to see it for myself.

4. Mahalaxmi Dhobi Ghat (The Laundry Men)

Why? Lots of men doing laundry? Without being nagged by their wives? I have to see this for myself!

Here in India, it's not all that common to own a washing machine. Instead, a man comes and picks up your dirty washing and takes it to a massive outdoor laundry.

This is how someone else described it: "Dirty laundry from all over Mumbai is brought here and painstakingly hand washed by the dhobis (washermen) in the seemingly endless rows of concrete troughs." Sorry but I can't remember who I plagiarised that from. Don't tell on me ok?

 3. Gateway of India

Why? Because it's Mumbai's most recognized monument. Not of much interest to me really, but EVERY SINGLE article I read mentioned it, so I'll check it out.

2. Attend an Indian Wedding

Why? Because weddings are great fun! And weddings are a HUGE deal over here. We've been invited to one in February that has 800 guests (that's not a mistake, it's really 800!). So long as I'm not at the end of the food queue I'll be happy. 

1. Have a (first ever) white Christmas! We're deciding between Sik-kim and Leh. Josiah's leaning towards Leh, I'm thinking Sik-kim. Have a look at the pictures. What do you think? Cast your vote in the comments below!

Leh

Sik-kim

What's coming up this week!

I'm currently making a list of my top 10 things to do in Mumbai. I'll be posting pictures as proof of completion and giving them a rating based on how much fun (or not) they were!

Also, Josiah will be acting as a guest blogger! He's been taking pictures all day and will be sharing them as a photo-blog entitled "A day in the life of Jennifer's most dutiful slave - aka Josiah". 

Josiah and I are finally hitting the social scene again this coming weekend so I'll keep you posted on how that goes too :)

My Bombay Belly Experience

It was Wednesday night. We decided on Chinese takeout & an evening snuggled up watching Alien (hubbie had never seen it before, but I had). Our night went something like this:


ME: Oh this next bit is sooo gross, the alien bursts through his chest. 
Hubbie: Just let me watch it, ok? 
ME: Sure honey. Hey, guess how many people make it out alive!
Hubbie: Probably only one.
ME: How did you know? Yeah Sigorney Weaver's character is winnner of Sole Survivor! Hehe
Hubbie: GRR! I didn't know WHICH one made it out. Stop talking.
ME: Fine, sorry. 


I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I know they were in the middle a fight scene.
ME: Hey babe, are you up to the part where you find out that guy's actually a robot? No?
Oopsies.


Anyway it was almost midnight when we finished watching it. I'd started feeling really lousy and my stomach was churning. I could feel gas bubbles ripple up and down my tummy. When the pain spread to my chest, I was convinced that I'd been infected with an alien & it was going to explode out of me at any second! 
I told hubbie it was ok with me if he re-married after I died and shared my last wishes: Burial, not cremation. Lots of pink and white flowers and a really pretty box. No skimping on my funeral!


He suggested that I go sit on the toilet for a while (which I thought was an absurd response to my final wishes but I went anyway)...
WHOOSH! Man I felt better afterwards. But then hubbie started banging on the door telling me to hurry up. 


ME: Go away! I'm on the toilet!! 
Hubbie: PLEASE HURRY! I need to use it. 
ME: Go away!!
Hubbie: Where should I go?! To the bed? On your favourite new bed sheets?!
I hurried up and let him in. 
ME: I take no responsibility if you pass out in there. 


Hubbie was pretty much better by lunch time yesterday and stupidly I decided to head outside with him for a walk. I got around the corner and down the street before I felt a pain in my stomach so intense I doubled over - it was like someone was grabbing my intestines and pulling them out. I'd seen that you-tube video where the girl has the unfortunate accident in the hot tub & I was determined not to be her! I clenched my butt cheeks, turned around and rushed back home. I must have been holding my breath the entire way back because my face was red as beetroot when I caught a glimpse of myself in the bathroom. 


About 36 hours after this whole thing started, I woke up feeling a lot better.


And that's my obligatory diarrhoea post shared for all future travellers! My advice: if you've got Bombay Belly, don't venture more than 5 meters from a functioning toilet!

The infamous kitchen explosion

I wrote this about 2 weeks ago but wasn't sure whether or not to post it on here. No doubt it will become one of those stories I'll tell strangers when I'm a little old lady waiting at a bus stop.

_________

What a horrid week it’s been. It all began last Tuesday when the door bell sounded. We get visitors pretty much constantly - usually it’s the delivery man with packages meant for other people or curious neighbours wanting to meet the new white people in their building. Other times it’s our landlord Mr Pai dropping off food or things for the house. Everyone has been very welcoming but it all gets a bit too much. Sometimes I pretend I’m not at home but it’s like Indians have some kind of 6th sense and they know I’m in here so they keep buzzing and buzzing until I give in. So I mess up my hair and pretend I’d been asleep and hadn't heard the bell.
Anyway, this time it was a man who had come to change our gas cylinder. He came, did his thing then left. I'd had no idea that the cylinder was even close to being empty, but service men seem to show up every few days to fix something or other. I insist that Josiah keep a close eye on them, in case they decide to help lighten our wallets as an extra complimentary service. 

About half an hour after he left I began to smell gas (no, not the kind that comes out my bottom at the most unfortunate times!). I told Josiah and he went to the kitchen to investigate. What happened next has become the basis of all my nightmares since. I heard a loud PHOOMPH and a giant ball of fire flooded the kitchen and spilled into the hallway.

I heard Josiah screaming and I saw him hitting the wall of the hallway as he ran out of the kitchen. He stumbled towards me, holding out his arms which were cherry red and shiny. There were areas where it seemed like the skin had started melting off. He looked at me with a horrifying mix of intense pain and shock and he was yelling something incoherent. I probably said the f word more times in those next 5 minutes than I have in my entire life. I literally couldn't stop screaming it. I got Josiah into the shower and cut his singed clothes off and then began crying. I could still smell gas so I figured the cylinder was still leaking and any minute there would be another explosion. Except this time it would be so big I was sure the whole building would collapse and we’d all die. I kept asking my landlord’s wife how to turn it off but she would only nod at me. It was infuriating! It seemed like no one understood the severity of the situation. I was certain we were all just about to die and no one seemed to care! It was bizarre. In my state of panic I kept thinking 'I hope someone tells mum and dad that we’re dead because I'd hate it if they thought I was ignoring their emails'.
As it turned out, our building didn’t explode and no body died. A nice little crowd gathered around to see Josiah who was now only wearing a little pair of black underpants. There was a guilty moment when I thanked God it wasn't me because I was wearing my oldest, most see-through, granny undies. Forget the burns, I honestly think I would have died from embarrassment.
A little while later I heard sirens and the 'fire brigade' arrived. They were wearing the full old-fashioned fireman's outfit - the kind you'd see in a Charlie Chaplin movie (see picture below). They were nothing like those firemen from the calenders that we’ve all come to expect. It was very disappointing!

This is what I got

This is what I was expecting

______________

And that's as far as I got in my post. I must have been distracted by the photos. Can you blame me? Those men on the left with their big moustaches, phoaw! Hot stuff.

On a more serious note, here are some pictures of Josiah through his recovery: 

It's insane how swollen his face got

This is when we started to freak out about possible scarring on his lips and nose

Finally able to go out on a date night - only $3 each for a huge, "I'm so stuffed, you'll have to roll me out the door" dinner

The ‘Things-I-miss-about-Australia-that-I-didn’t-realise-I-would-miss’ List

1) The weather - I actually miss how the weather changes with the seasons. I know that might sound bizarre, but here in India there is a rather limited menu:
- hot 

- even hotter

- hot & humid
 and
- Aargh, I’m meeelting!

[Josiah reminded me that they get the monsoon season here too (also known as 'fish swimming by your window') but that’s not till June so it doesn’t count!]

2) The fact that people don’t stare. Walking around here makes you realise what celebrities must feel like. Everyone stares and watches you from the moment you step foot outside the gate. If they could, I’m sure they’d watch me inside my house too. Coming from a culture where if someone’s staring at you it’s probably because there’s something wrong with you, I started getting pretty paranoid about my appearance. I think Josiah was getting rather annoyed by the number of times I’d ask him “Joe, do I have anything on my face?!”

Now I just ignore everyone & repeat to myself: “There’s nothing on your face, you’re clothes aren’t see-through, you haven’t grown a third ear, they’re just staring because you’re fabulous!”

3) I loved how everything was all in one place. If you went to the supermarket, you could get pretty much get whatever you needed. From towels to cream cheese to a mop and bucket. Here, you can go to the markets, but they won’t necessarily have what you want. Each market seems to be famous for a few key things, so it takes patience and a good memory to suss out what each has to offer. But that’s no good for me because I’m a very impatient person with a very bad memory.

4) Plants are easier to look after because everything comes with instructions & little diagrams: full sun, half sun, morning sun, water daily, water weekly, water whenever you remember. Here all my beautiful roses and the plants with the little pink flowers (have no idea what they are) are all dying on me and I don’t know why! I water them, I talk to them, I touch their leaves (I’m not crazy, these are scientifically proven to make plants happier) and they’re still dying one by one. It’s stressing me out!!

5) Being able to have a conversation where I don’t have to repeat every sentence 5 times or until they pretend to understand and nod their head (even when I wasn’t asking them a question).

And not having to endure this sort of exchange on a daily basis:
Rickdriver: “I something something something, ok?”
Me: “What? I don’t understand. Are you speaking English? Just give me my change please.”
Rickdriver: “Something something you something, ok?”
Me: “No, I don’t understand!!! Just give me my change fcker!”