I was having a shower - not really exciting news in itself I know (unless you happen to be my husband). But it was hair washing day. I love hair washing day. I like to pretend I'm a model for a tv commercial. You know - in slow motion you scrunch the shampoo through your hair and then smile like it's the best thing you've ever done. Or when you make a mohawk with the shampoo. That's fun too. Anyway, part way through my shower, the water pressure began to drop. I knew exactly what was happening. You see, they have water shortages here in Mumbai, and when you least expect it, they'll just shut off the water supply. It's happened a couple of times while I was in the middle of doing the dishes. Not that I minded. I hate doing the dishes. But I did mind when I had a head full of shampoo! I had mere seconds to try and get the suds out as the shower became a slow dribble. In the end, I had my head pressed against the wall trying to catch the last little drips.... and then ... there was no more. If my life had a sound track, there would be a sad orchestral piece playing as I gazed up at the now dry and solemn shower head. A tear rolled down my face. Not really. But it will in the movie they make about my life.
So, should you ever come to stay, here are some key points to follow:
1. Either shower EARLY or LATE.
You can never tell what time the geniuses controlling the water supply are going to switch it off but it's generally after 11am. And it's usually back on by 5 or 6pm. So plan to shower before 10am or after 7pm and you should be ok. No promises.
2. Have everything ready to go - when you decide to have a shower, it's like a game of chance. If you've followed rule number 1, you've increased your odds of making it the whole way through without being interrupted mid act. Still, you don't want to delay shampooing or whatever any longer than you have to. Have the bottles there and ready and once it's on the hair, lather lather lather, then rinse as soon as possible.
3. Have a towel within handy reach. You don't want to be walking around the house with your bits on show looking for one! Most likely you'll have to pass an open window, and if you do, you can pretty much bet someone will be looking in at that precise moment.
4. Keep your mouth shut!! I know its nice to tilt your head back and have the water wash over your face and let your mouth hang open. Don't! The water is dirty and you don't want to end up like Charlotte from the Sex & The City movie do you?! If you have even a tiny sip, I guarantee your bum won't leave the toilet for a week! I'll be telling you I told you so while passing you extra loo paper.
5. Unless you have a cracking hot water system, say goodbye to a steamy, hot shower. Embrace the fact that the water will be whatever temperature it wants to be.
6. Don't forget your feet! You'll be surprised how dirty they can get after just a quick walk outside in flip-flops. And it's the kind of dirt that stays stuck to your feet unless you scrub them really well.
7. If the water starts pooling at your feet it's time to get your husband/someone else to get all the crud and hair that's blocking the drain. You won't want to touch it. ...even if it is most likely all your hair clogging things up. My motto is: once it's not attached to me, it's not mine. So when people say, is that your hair in my food, I say nope. Even if it is dark brown and everyone else is blonde. I can't be held responsible for what my hair does after it leaves me. Goodness.
So, should you ever come to stay, here are some key points to follow:
1. Either shower EARLY or LATE.
You can never tell what time the geniuses controlling the water supply are going to switch it off but it's generally after 11am. And it's usually back on by 5 or 6pm. So plan to shower before 10am or after 7pm and you should be ok. No promises.
2. Have everything ready to go - when you decide to have a shower, it's like a game of chance. If you've followed rule number 1, you've increased your odds of making it the whole way through without being interrupted mid act. Still, you don't want to delay shampooing or whatever any longer than you have to. Have the bottles there and ready and once it's on the hair, lather lather lather, then rinse as soon as possible.
3. Have a towel within handy reach. You don't want to be walking around the house with your bits on show looking for one! Most likely you'll have to pass an open window, and if you do, you can pretty much bet someone will be looking in at that precise moment.
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| The view from my bedroom window. He likes to look in. A lot. Whoever invented curtains, thank you! |
5. Unless you have a cracking hot water system, say goodbye to a steamy, hot shower. Embrace the fact that the water will be whatever temperature it wants to be.
6. Don't forget your feet! You'll be surprised how dirty they can get after just a quick walk outside in flip-flops. And it's the kind of dirt that stays stuck to your feet unless you scrub them really well.
7. If the water starts pooling at your feet it's time to get your husband/someone else to get all the crud and hair that's blocking the drain. You won't want to touch it. ...even if it is most likely all your hair clogging things up. My motto is: once it's not attached to me, it's not mine. So when people say, is that your hair in my food, I say nope. Even if it is dark brown and everyone else is blonde. I can't be held responsible for what my hair does after it leaves me. Goodness.
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