So each morning of our USA adventure, Josiah and I wake up having absolutely no idea what we're going to do or where we're travelling to next. If you'd told me I'd be living this way 20 years ago, that little child would have died of a heart attack. I was the least spontaneous person ever. And worse, I couldn't deal with change. My mum can testify to the time she had to sit on me (yes, you read that right) because I was throwing the most spectacular tantrum in protest to the fact that we were moving. Even now, I still hate it when plans change at the last second but let me screw up my face, scream a little, say a few angry words and generally act like a possessed demon for about 20 minutes and I'll come around. As my husband has learnt, the best time to give me news of any kind is when I'm eating my favourite dessert, and the worst time is when I'm driving. That gets scary.
Anyway, a few mornings ago, we woke up and decided to see if there was anything worth while doing in West Virginia. I found the usual list that involves hiking, looking at various "important" buildings or learning about American history; none of which sounded appealing. Then I came across a website about a ski field that was close by with a special on - only $30 per person for a whole day pass with ski rental AND a free lesson! We were sold!
By the time we got our tickets and skis and got onto the snow, a lesson had already started so we had an hour to fill in until the next class began. I was happy just to fumble around in the snow but Josiah, believing that he is immortal, suggested that we try out one of the beginners slopes for fun. Not wanting to be a boring sod I agreed. Worst mistake ever.
We caught the lift up to the top of the slope and clumsily got off. We were both really unsteady on our feet, Josiah worse than me. Seeing that I had the advantage and never one to pass up a chance to beat Josiah at something, I challenged him to a race for the edge of the slope. I, of course, won and turned around to gloat. What happened next was one of the most harrowing experiences of my life. Before I could finish saying "I beat you!", my skis tipped over the edge and whoosh! Off I went down the hill!! I immediately started flying down the slope at warp speed. I tried everything to stop. I lent forwards, I lent backwards, I had the skis in the triangle shape. But to no avail. The trees flew by me so fast they became a blurry grey wall. The snow under me was was so bumpy I became air borne on a few occasions. The wind whipped past my face and made my eyes water, making it almost impossible to see anything.
Anyway, a few mornings ago, we woke up and decided to see if there was anything worth while doing in West Virginia. I found the usual list that involves hiking, looking at various "important" buildings or learning about American history; none of which sounded appealing. Then I came across a website about a ski field that was close by with a special on - only $30 per person for a whole day pass with ski rental AND a free lesson! We were sold!
By the time we got our tickets and skis and got onto the snow, a lesson had already started so we had an hour to fill in until the next class began. I was happy just to fumble around in the snow but Josiah, believing that he is immortal, suggested that we try out one of the beginners slopes for fun. Not wanting to be a boring sod I agreed. Worst mistake ever.
We caught the lift up to the top of the slope and clumsily got off. We were both really unsteady on our feet, Josiah worse than me. Seeing that I had the advantage and never one to pass up a chance to beat Josiah at something, I challenged him to a race for the edge of the slope. I, of course, won and turned around to gloat. What happened next was one of the most harrowing experiences of my life. Before I could finish saying "I beat you!", my skis tipped over the edge and whoosh! Off I went down the hill!! I immediately started flying down the slope at warp speed. I tried everything to stop. I lent forwards, I lent backwards, I had the skis in the triangle shape. But to no avail. The trees flew by me so fast they became a blurry grey wall. The snow under me was was so bumpy I became air borne on a few occasions. The wind whipped past my face and made my eyes water, making it almost impossible to see anything.
I should probably mention at this point that Josiah was back at the top of the slope watching me in awe and mistakenly thinking that it was all part of my act and I was going fast on purpose. In reality, I was asking the Lord to forgive me for my sins because I thought I was going to die.
I made it halfway down and then saw that ahead of me the slope split into 2. The one down the left was even steeper than the one I'd just been on. And the one to the right flattened out, but there was a whole group of people standing on it. What do I do?! I decided to go right, figuring that one of them would notice the panic stricken screaming lunatic on skis hurdling towards them, and get out of the way. Apparently not.
I ended up skiing straight into the most obese man I've ever seen. I smacked into the back of his legs and for an instance I thought God was going to be merciful and the man would remain steady on his feet. Sadly, no. I looked up just as his bum fell onto my face, and I was squished into the snow. The world went dark. It was horrifying. They eventually rolled him off to reveal me flat on my back, pressed deep into the snow, still clutching my ski poles.
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| An re-enactment of my splendid crash |
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