24 hours in Disney World!

EXCITED doesn't quite cover how we're feeling! We have tickets for the "One More Disney Day" Leap Year special where DisneyWorld stays open from 6am on the 29th of Feb through to 6am on the 1st of March.

I have a feeling that by 2am I'll be delirious and in my own little Fantasia world but Josiah has bought some goodies to keep us going.

Tomorrow should be National Diabetes Day.
Because if we don't already have diabetes, after eating all these lollies I think we will.

Final preparations are under way - charging camera batteries, choosing outfits, stuffing the food into our backpack, eating what won't fit, etc.

Goodnight and wish us luck!

Angry boys and exploding eggs

We've had quite an eventful week
- There was the afternoon a bunch of teenage boys in a rusty old pick up truck got a severe case of road rage after we over took them on the highway to Memphis. I felt like we'd been dropped into the middle of a bad remake of that 1971 movie 'Duel'. Picture 3 psychotic males climbing all over each other to make various strange hand gestures at us. Since I don't speak moron, I just nodded and smiled. That seemed to piss them off even more. They weaved through traffic just to stick by our side for about 5 miles until we reached the next town where they had to call off their chase and pulled into a fuel station.

- Then there was the day we arrived in Miami expecting sunshine and palm trees, only for it to be pouring down with needle like rain drops. When it wasn't raining, it was muggy and hot. I can't believe just 1 week ago we were driving through a snow blizzard, and now we're trying not to kill each other with our body odour.

- Finally there was the impromptu BBQ we had today. Walking through Walmart, Josiah found 2 fillet mignons for only $4 and the Australian man in him wanted to slap that thing on the barbie. I'd been craving a juicy steak for days and this was a cheap, waitress-free (I'll write a separate post on my fear of American waitresses later) way of getting it. Sadly we didn't think it through and before we knew it, we'd bought a whole bunch of other great picnic food, but no BBQing utensils or fire making equipment. On the drive back to the motel, Josiah suddenly realised this but decided that our flimsy plastic fork would work just fine to turn the meat, and they'd have an electric grill for sure.
Not for sure. Not even close. The motel didn't have a BBQ and neither did any of the surrounding parks. The only park with one was 15 miles away. This picnic idea was fast turning into a giant hassle but we'd already bought all that food, so off we went. It should be pretty straightforward now right?
Wrong. First we had to pay for park entrance. Then we found out the BBQs were charcoal-fuelled...as in, bring your own charcoal, lighter fluid and matches - none of which we had.
So there we were with rotting meat, melting cheese and smiles that were turning into frowns.
About to give up, I spotted a park attendant and sent Josiah off to ask for ideas on salvaging our situation. Luckily he was a really nice man and was able to provide us with everything we needed!

The rest I'll share in pictures.

More lighter fluid? Why not?!
Josiah unleashes his inner pyromaniac

Who needs metal utensils when you can find sticks like that

We couldn't fry the eggs like we'd wanted to so Josiah decided
to put them in the coals to see if they'd cook

A couple exploded

But this one turned out great!

Graceland - I did the tour in person, so you can do it from the comfort of your chair (and for $32 cheaper)

We stayed in Mississippi in nicest room we've had since arriving in the US. 

And the best part, it was only $33 a night!

A bath that needs steps to get into. I approve.

I think the reason it was so cheap was so you'd go down to their casino and lose all your money on their pokies. But Josiah and I far too clever to fall for that old trick!
The next morning we were off to Memphis where I did the tour of Elvis' home, Graceland.

Purple and white, my favourite colour combination.
The man sure had good taste.

The lounge room, with a couch that goes on forever.

 

A picture of his parents.
You could tell he really loved them.

The Jungle room.
Green carpet on the floors...and the ceiling

The games room.
It looked like a peacock exploded.

Notice the 3 TVs on at the back?
When Elvis heard that President Eisenhower watched 3 TVs at the one time, he decided he wanted to too.

A long hallway full of his awards

I can only imagine the number of girls who cried when they heard Elvis was getting married

Another room, another gazillion awards

The famous pink caddy and a painting of the front of Graceland

Elvis Presley's private plane named after his daughter Lisa Marie.
Apparently when Elvis found out that Lisa hadn't seen the snow, they got on board the plane and flew to Colorado where she played in the snow for an hour, then they flew back home.

The house Elvis and his stillborn twin were born in

He was buried with his parents and grandmother at the back of Graceland.
There was a little plaque for his brother too.

I was expecting the tour to be fun and exciting but I actually found it kind of sad. It was like there was a sombre mood over the entire house and I couldn't help but feel a little sorry at how his life turned out. Maybe people are only supposed to have a certain amount of fun in their lives and when you've used up your quota, you die. So if you're boring you'll live forever, I guess!

Tennessee: rolling prairies....and meth?

Just thought I'd give everyone a quick update. We were supposed to head to Nashville today but when we spotted the town of Chattanooga on google maps we just had to see it for ourselves!

What a mistake. We arrived at our motel this afternoon and there was a man on the balcony barking. Yes, BARKING. And cooing and clucking and swinging his arms above his head like an ape. Strangest hotel welcome ever.

Josiah went into the reception to get us checked in. I stayed in the car because I was absolutely exhausted after a long day of doing nothing. I started to regret my decision though because the man was to beginning to really creep me out. He'd decided to take his shirt off and was now struggling with the zipper of his pants. Eww.

I knew we'd be given a room right next to his. I just knew it. Sure enough, Josiah came out and pointed up to where the man was saying "Our room's up there sweetie!". 

I hate being right all the time. Seriously.

We asked for a different room and now we're in one that stinks to high hell but I'm too cheap to find another place to stay. I've got Josiah on door patrol which basically means he's swinging the door from side to side to help circulate the air because the air con is stuffed.

We're driving to Memphis tomorrow (which is over the other side of Tennessee) where I'll be going on a tour of Graceland and learning every intimate detail about Elvis (yay!). Josiah has no interest in him whatsoever, so he'll be sitting at a cafe catching up on some work and grateful he doesn't have to keep listen to me singing the only 3 lines of Blue Suede Shoes I know. 

Good night!

Get outta the way!!!

So each morning of our USA adventure, Josiah and I wake up having absolutely no idea what we're going to do or where we're travelling to next. If you'd told me I'd be living this way 20 years ago, that little child would have died of a heart attack. I was the least spontaneous person ever. And worse, I couldn't deal with change. My mum can testify to the time she had to sit on me (yes, you read that right) because I was throwing the most spectacular tantrum in protest to the fact that we were moving. Even now, I still hate it when plans change at the last second but let me screw up my face, scream a little, say a few angry words and generally act like a possessed demon for about 20 minutes and I'll come around. As my husband has learnt, the best time to give me news of any kind is when I'm eating my favourite dessert, and the worst time is when I'm driving. That gets scary.
Anyway, a few mornings ago, we woke up and decided to see if there was anything worth while doing in West Virginia. I found the usual list that involves hiking, looking at various "important" buildings or learning about American history; none of which sounded appealing. Then I came across a website about a ski field that was close by with a special on - only $30 per person for a whole day pass with ski rental AND a free lesson! We were sold!
By the time we got our tickets and skis and got onto the snow, a lesson had already started so we had an hour to fill in until the next class began. I was happy just to fumble around in the snow but Josiah, believing that he is immortal, suggested that we try out one of the beginners slopes for fun. Not wanting to be a boring sod I agreed. Worst mistake ever.
We caught the lift up to the top of the slope and clumsily got off. We were both really unsteady on our feet, Josiah worse than me. Seeing that I had the advantage and never one to pass up a chance to beat Josiah at something, I challenged him to a race for the edge of the slope. I, of course, won and turned around to gloat. What happened next was one of the most harrowing experiences of my life. Before I could finish saying "I beat you!", my skis tipped over the edge and whoosh! Off I went down the hill!! I immediately started flying down the slope at warp speed. I tried everything to stop. I lent forwards, I lent backwards, I had the skis in the triangle shape. But to no avail. The trees flew by me so fast they became a blurry grey wall. The snow under me was was so bumpy I became air borne on a few occasions. The wind whipped past my face and made my eyes water, making it almost impossible to see anything.

I should probably mention at this point that Josiah was back at the top of the slope watching me in awe and mistakenly thinking that it was all part of my act and I was going fast on purpose. In reality, I was asking the Lord to forgive me for my sins because I thought I was going to die.

I made it halfway down and then saw that ahead of me the slope split into 2. The one down the left was even steeper than the one I'd just been on. And the one to the right flattened out, but there was a whole group of people standing on it. What do I do?! I decided to go right, figuring that one of them would notice the panic stricken screaming lunatic on skis hurdling towards them, and get out of the way. Apparently not. 

I ended up skiing straight into the most obese man I've ever seen. I smacked into the back of his legs and for an instance I thought God was going to be merciful and the man would remain steady on his feet. Sadly, no. I looked up just as his bum fell onto my face, and I was squished into the snow. The world went dark. It was horrifying. They eventually rolled him off to reveal me flat on my back, pressed deep into the snow, still clutching my ski poles. 

An re-enactment of my splendid crash

Valentines Day, spent unblocking the motel toilet

There’s really no worse feeling than the one you get when watching a toilet that you've just crapped in fill up higher and higher after you flush it. It's the realisation that the most embarrassing moment of your life is about to happen, and there's absolutely nothing you can do about it. 
This is exactly what happened to me earlier tonight. I stood there completely transfixed, helpless and unable to take my eyes off the toilet bowl. The water continued to rise, it was up to the rim. The panic set in. Of course by this time any sane person would start looking for a plunger. But I just continued to stand there, mouth ajar, absolutely mortified.
Did I happen to mention it was Valentines day? Yeah. It was 6pm. Not exactly what I imagined I'd be doing on the very first Valentines Day of my married life. 
So what did I do? My usual response in a catastrophe of this magnitude would be to fetch Josiah to fix it for me. But that wouldn’t work in this case, because he doesn’t know I poo. Just like my mother doesn't know I get my periods. When the topic comes up, I firmly deny it. 

Ok, so I had to fix this myself. What the hell was I going to do?!

This was my thought process: Come on, Jen, think! 
Oh man... oh man!! I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and not use this toilet! 
Oh man, why did I have to use the toilet first? Why couldn't I have found it in my heart to let Josiah go ahead? He was busting too. Then he’d be here in the bathroom with this over-flowing toilet, and I’d be out there on the bed watching TV in blissful ignorance. 
Oh man. Oh man!

In the end, as humiliating as it was, I decided it was time to admit to Josiah that I use the toilet, just like other human beings. 

This is how the conversation went. "Josiah?" 

He looked up. 

"I pooed in the toilet and now it’s overflowed. Sorry.” I blurted.

Happy Valentines Day. 

Today is our last day EVER in India. Hooray! We're flying to New York tomorrow with a one night stop over in Egypt. We land in Cairo at noon which means we should have plenty of time to see the Pyramids and Sphinx before it gets dark. I plan on indulging in all the wonderfully annoying touristy things like squealing at the first glimpse of the pyramids & riding on a camel with a dorky smile on my face.

To celebrate our final day here, we've decided to spend the day feasting on all our favourite Indian dishes while we pack. My goal is to leave India never wanting to taste another curry again!
So the theme for today's post is: Indian food!

Here are some pictures I've taken of meals we've had during our Indian adventure...
IDLI:

a breakfast dish made of fermented ground rice that is squished to form a pancake. By itself it’s rather bland, so they serve it with a brown soupy thing (sambar), or a chutney, or if you're really lucky (as one Indian put it) you get both. Our landlord brought some over for breakie a few weeks back (when we were still on friendly terms). We had a try but we didn't really like it so I put the rest it in a paper bag for the local beggars who rifle through our rubbish every morning looking for food. I would have taken it to them myself but I’d have had a lot of explaining to do if our landlord caught me giving away the meal his dear wife cooked.

idli

dipped in the sambar

Nom nom nom

Next is the good old garlic naan and my absolute FAVOURITE way to have chicken: reshmi chicken. The marinade makes it the most juicy chicken ever. Seriously. Josiah and I turned into feral cats over the last piece.

Garlic naan. Not too doughy, not too thin and smoked to perfection.

Josiah folding his reshmi naan roll

This was Josiah's takeout today - the Mini Punjab Kabab 'Surprise'.
The surprise being that it's made of dog turds. 

Mmm dog turd

'Curd rice'
I ordered this expecting it to be a sweet rice dessert
but instead it was a nasty, salty, icky dish that makes you grab for the napkin. Or in my case, my husband's sleeve.

Tandoori Gobi. I had high hopes since I usually love things cooked in the tandoor.
But this was gross. It had an awful yellowy sour marinade on it.
Bad. Bad. Bad.

This was wanton soup which Josiah had in Darjeeling. Pretty good actually.

Fried momo ('moo moo'). They're sort of like dim sims 

Toomba - ask for it if you go to LaChen.

Our plane leaves in about 12 hours (!!) so I should probably finish packing otherwise I'll be up all night.

Next time I post, it will be from the US of A!