After a buying a gorgeous outfit from a shop called Fashion Paris in what is becoming my favourite mall ever (the older, ugly sibling of Siam Paragon of which I don't even know the name), I headed out on a quest to find the perfect set of shoes to finish my look.
We were supposed to go to Tesco at On Nut to look for joggers for Josiah but I hijacked that shopping trip when I saw this night market from the sky train. I told him we'd only have a quick look. You could say I lied, but I would suggest that "quick" is subjective depending on whether you're the shopper or the unfortunate sod tagging behind.
I used my expert bargaining skills and got these shoes for a whole 29 baht less than the original price. That's almost ONE dollar folks. Clearly I should write a "how to" guide on bargaining because I that good.
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| The offending shoe - looks innocent enough right? Keep reading. |
The next morning I got up extra early so I had plenty of time to properly beautify myself. Sadly the "laws of diminishing returns" were in play and I only looked slightly better than usual even though I spent 3 times as long.
"Do I look any different?" I asked my husband.
"Um..." he looked very uncertain.
I raised my eyebrows and blinked furiously.
"Your eyes...look great...?" he offered.
"Thanks! Do you want to know what I did differently? I put eyeliner on and then I like, smudged it a bit. And then I smudge the other eye but then they looked uneven so I had to smudge my left eye again, but then I looked like I got into a bar fight with one of those lady-boys down the road so I had to take it all off and start again."
Josiah nodded. He was clearly overwhelmed by my intelligence.
Anyway, I got my new heels on, and off we went (Josiah walks down to the train station with me every morning). I noticed the back of my heel was rubbing just a little but I told myself I just had to make it to class, then I'd be able to take them off.
Well, I didn't even get 20 meters down the soi before the rubbing got so bad the pain shooting up my leg at every step made me stagger like a pirate with a stump and an empty bottle of rum.
I persevered another 500m or so, all the while completely convinced that I must be doing something wrong since left, right and center there were Thai women wearing heels as high as my eyeballs looking as graceful as ever.
In the end I gave up. Being the drama queen I am and taking my cue from a facebook group I like, I waved Josiah forward, "Go on without me!" and slumped against the bonnet of a vacant taxi. With no reason to walk to the station if I wasn't going, Josiah looked at me like I'd lost my mind.
After removing the offending shoes and ditching Josiah in favour of a taxi bike back to the hotel, I vowed to never, ever feel the need to be lady like again.
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| I'll stick to flip flops and jeans from now on |
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